The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (1994)

I was in grad school when the first sign that my marriage was finite appeared. There was a moment while I was student teaching when my mental compartmentalization fractured. I was with a group of A.V.I.D. students in a common area, and as they bent to review a text, I allowed my personal life to swim up for examination. It must have played out on my face because when I looked up, I met the eyes of a fellow student teacher, Ben. He, aware of my circumstances, smiled in that way, in that specific way that says “This is a smile that meets your sadness.”

In many ways, that time for me was even more difficult than the ultimate dissolution of my marriage. The pain was so new then, such a shock. Nothing made sense, and while the disbelief that it was happening to me carried on through the end, it was more reasonable to be shocked by it back then.

Memories of time are not in order, so I’m not sure if that smile was before or after my therapist shared this poem with me.

I guess it doesn’t really matter.

In particular, these lines bring me back to that blue-carpeted moment in the Commons:

I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

Whether or not I was aware at that time how my experience was linked to these words, I knew when Ben smiled at me that I did, in fact, have the strength to do what needed to be done to feed the children.

Short Stuff:

• Oriah is a Canadian poet and writer of both fiction and nonfiction books.
• Her work centers around spirituality and creativity.

Topics

identity; resilience; joy; nature; spirituality; knowledge

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The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

–Oriah Mountain Dreamer